Friday, May 29, 2009


So I have been on a manliness bender. It started with Rourke hammering his body into shape and ruling the world with THE WRESTLER. It looks like it is going to end with Stallone and his entire cast hammering their bodies into shape and blowing everything away in THE EXPENDABLES next year.

I have been considering Stallone of late. He currently has his ripped sinewy forearms on my desktop. As synchronicity would have it, several people mentioned Stallone's CLIFFHANGER to me last week. They all said it was a good film. I admitted that I hadn't seen it and got a rounding, "YOU SHOULD SEE IT" from all. So I loaded it onto the PSP and went to work. Right out of the gate I noticed my favorite horror-crossover actor Michael Rooker. Later on I noticed John Lithgow pushing an almost believable English accent. Overall, there is not a lot to say about this film other than it is a great romp in the snow. That's about it. I must also cite, however, that in the early 90s Stallone wasn't half as ripped as he is now. And I am in awe. He is the quintessence of manliness--behind Mickey Rourke, of course.

To counter the speedballing to the brain of manliness and gunfire, I then chose to watch FANBOYS. This is a film for those who know their Star Wars and maybe even some Star Trek pretty well. Dan Fogler steals the show as Hutch, the perpetually oversexed, one-testicled defender of all things Star Wars. The movie is a lot of fun. Of course it is cameo laden with Seth Rogan actually playing a double role, one of which is that of a Star Wars pimp(!). Danny Trejo also shows up as a doped out flat-tire fixer who refers to himself in third person. Kevin Smith is in there and so is William Shatner, Ray Parks and Carrie Fisher. This film is a collage of multiple movie references and quotes rolled up into one obnoxious road trip. The main plot point is that the group of SW nerds are going to Skywalker Ranch to steal a copy of THE PHANTOM MENACE before it comes out. The film might have limited appeal in regards to who is going to get all of the jokes, but it is whimsical and feels good. It is crude like fanboys are, and it never truly leaves the high school playpen. But this makes it light and delectable.

I still haven't seen DEATH SENTENCE, but I must. I recently learned I was four degrees of separation from Kevin Bacon, and this is my destiny.

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