Wednesday, May 13, 2009

THE MECHANIC, jury duty and other things - A BADASS MOVIE REVIEW

MAY 09, 2009

It has been a pretty brutal week. I got yanked into jury duty. The yank was a hard one because I spaced on jury duty the week before and I was dodging a bench warrant. Needless to say, I was juror #1 for five days.

In the end it was a hung jury. Thank God for the PSP. I played nonstop METAL SLUG and looked for homebrew cracks so that I can finally play ROBOTRON on the thing. I also consumed Bronson's THE MECHANIC with the sole idea of writing a review on it. The film is staggeringly meaningless however. I am simply at a loss for the notion that is driving the remake with Jason Statham. THE MECHANIC is a banal little film that never breaks the surface of originality.

It is always amusing to watch Charles Bronson give his dead-eyed stare to the world around him, but that is all he is good for. He has to ultra-pronounce his words because of his accent and frankly, that moustache is irritating.

Jan-Michael Vincent is in this film, and may have been the most handsome human being walking the earth at that time. It is fascinating to watch the ruggedness and all out manly pose of Bronson upstage the godlike good looks of Vincent. But seriously? The strange physical upstaging is all that really happens in this film.

THE MECHANIC is a mediocre '70s assassin film that doesn't need Hollywood to look back on it lovingly. THE MECHANIC needs to stay in the bargain bin with other forgotten half-stepping action films with over-acting and unsure plotting.

Whatever the case, I have a hung jury and a medicore film under my belt. I hope next week is better.

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