Sunday, June 7, 2009


The TERMINATOR: SALVATION blitz is over, and I have found someone willing to go through the wreckage and tell us what went wrong. His views on the subject are spoiler-heavy and on-point. You need to know that this is part of an email conversation that was so good that I have to present it to the masses. Randall came off with so much fury and accuracy that I felt it was worthy of the Mediasaurs' front page.

TERMINATOR: SALVATION a concise email disembowelment by Randall Audrain

Well, I saw Terminator, and I swear on my life it was even worse than I expected. But before I rip into it, I will say a few things I liked about it. I thought Anton Yelchin as Kyle Reese was excellent. The special effects were incredible (even the CGI Arnold was pretty damn good), but that’s just about all the pluses.As for what I didn’t like… where do I even begin?

I guess for starters, the script was absolutely awful. I mean, it was mind-numbingly bad, with plot holes galore. I guess that’s what happens when you get the guys who wrote Catwoman to takeover the writing for a big time franchise like Terminator. Sure there was a nod to GN’R’s “You Could Be Mine” that was kind of fun. But the fact that they seriously tried to incorporate the lines “I’ll be back” and “Come with me if you want to live” doesn’t even get a nostalgic nod from me. The dialogue was corny as hell. I think everyone in the theater rolled their eyes a few times.

The score was forgettable to say the least. McG is all style and no substance. He’s even worse than Michael Bay. There was no character development, and I had zero sentimental attachment to any of the characters. Lord knows there sure as heck wasn’t a single real emotional moment in the whole movie (like when Arnold terminated himself at the end of T2). I could go on for days about different aspects that I didn’t like, but I think I’ve made my point. --RA

Like I said, Randall put it down. I was pretty sketchy on TERMINATOR: SALVATION, but after that review, I am throwing this film into the pile with classics like AVP and X3.

In other news, I finally took down Kevin Bacon's DEATH SENTENCE. There is one remarkable money shot in the film where Bacon leaps from a falling car in a parkade. Other than that the film begs you to think the following: What if Travis Bickle loved his family and one of them was smoked in a gang initiation? I am not joking. The homage to TAXI DRIVER is so deep in this one, it is right down to a scene where Bacon shoots a man's hand off and takes a bullet graze to the neck. Bacon is even sporting a broken mohawk at this point. Check all of the hot-linked words in this paragraph and you can put together what I am saying via Youtube. The difference between the two films is that at the end of DEATH SENTENCE Bacon is not hailed as a hero. Next up for me? THE INTERNATIONAL.

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