Thursday, April 8, 2010


(pulled from the forums and dusted off for your consideration)

I have seen this piece of crap movie, and I don't know if I will be able to contain my anger on the subject.

There is a cute twist thrown in at the end that sort of makes you go "hmmm," but it doesn't diffuse the improbable nattering that happens through the rest of the film.

I guess Jude Law is playing himself, a father who is distanced from his kid and hooks up with a lounge singer/crack-whore/totally rebuilt woman that looks like a soft-featured man.

Forrest Whittaker is on such thin ice in my mind that I am speechless. Let's not forget that this man starred alongside Stayin' Alive in BATTLEFIELD EARTH.

Let's not forget his string of horrific films, most noteably STREET KINGS and PANIC ROOM. I did like his turn in THE SHIELD though. I liked it a lot. I haven't seen THE LAST KING OF SCOTLAND or whatever that was, and maybe I should. Let's also not forget that his career-starter was FAST TIMES. This is a man who could be doing a lot better than slumming through movies like this.

I cited somewhere that REPO MEN was unoriginal all the way back to Monty Python's THE MEANING OF LIFE. Wouldn't you know that there is a scene in REPO MEN in which a TV is playing the particular Monty Python scene that I cited?

Liev Schreiber is another guy who shows up in nonstop trash. I say nonstop because people all want to cite what a great job he did as Sabertooth in WOLVERINE. But truth be told, WOLVERINE is trash. If he put in any worthwhile work, it was in THE OMEN and a movie called TWILIGHT that has nothing to do with vampires
Other than that? What's he got? THE MANCHURIAN CANDIDATE? DEFIANCE?

The REPO MEN story is ridiculous. America files for bankruptcy. You can sign on to get new body parts for ridiculous prices and low monthly fees. If you miss 4 payments, they come and repo your stuff.

The opening scene shows Jude Law putting on surgeon garb before he extracts the organ. But you never see that again. These guys are doing back-alley organ-abortions.

Law's wife wants him out of the repo biz, so much so that she divorces him. You think that the plot will pick up when a freak accident forces Mr. Law to get a heart from the company that he repos for, right? Think again.

Law runs around with his rebuilt crack whore and tries to function, and the repo men are coming, specifically the aforementioned LAST KING OF SCOTLAND.

Whittaker's and Law's onscreen relationship is one of the most unbelievable pairings I have ever seen, and I put that on COP OUT. Apparently they were friends in the 4th grade and have gone through the military together. Apparently they are really close. But you know what? A convo that they have at the bar where Whittaker jokes about having to repo his own grandfather shows that these two people don't really know each other. They are casual at best.

FX? Great.

Plot? Stupid.

Acting? Ok.

There is also an OLDBOY homage at the end. Law has to go down a hall and cut through a zillion people. He uses knives, a hacksaw, oh, and a HAMMER. It is too obvious, and it feels lame. If I wanted to see someone cut through a hall of people, I would watch OLDBOY.

I give this move 5 mad faces. Meaning I am completely pissed off.

-Mediasaurus Rex

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